Daily Musings

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Its my fault

I have got a black eye, but it’s not due to my husband. It’s completely my fault. I walked in to a door and hence got hurt. I am slightly accident-prone. The other day I had slipped from the stairs and broken my wrist. My friends thought it was due to him but it wasn’t.
My husband does not beat me up. No he doesn’t. He just gets very angry some times. But then that’s my fault too. I demand too much from him as a wife so he some times loses his cool. But no, the bruises all over my body have nothing to do with him.
Its just difficult for him to control his anger sometimes and I should try to understand that.
My parents want me to separate from him. They wonder why I put up with it. I have tried to tell them that it’s my fault but they don’t understand.
My friends don’t recognize me anymore. They can’t find the girl who wanted to take over the world. They say he has broken my spirit but I try to make them understand too that’s its my fault.The problem is I can convince every one except this one woman. The woman who stares back at me from the mirror asking, “Is it really my fault?”

Love at first sight

He knew he was a faceless voice for her. Just someone she used to call when she required help. He worked in the systems department of a company while she was a highflying executive in the same company. However due to her job profile she always needed to transfer confidential data, which had to pass through system clearance hence their rendezvous. At least that’s what he would like to call it.
She had joined a few months back and he had been completely smitten by her. The first time they had spoken was when he had explained their system to her on the phone. She used to sit right across the glass partition, which separated the systems department from the rest of the office, and he had been completely bowled over.
He knew people always said that you could not fall in love with a person till you didn’t know her. But he knew her. He knew her name, her birthday, and her address more than that he knew what kind of a person she was.
By her open smile he knew she was a friendly person, by her soft voice he knew she was gentle; through her eyes he knew she was a dreamer. He had seen her share her lunch with the street urchins and knew above all she was a good person.
He also knew that she probably didn’t know of his existence but she was courteous and always used to smile at him whenever they happened to pass. He knew that she probably didn’t know that he was the person who helped her with her data but he didn’t care.
His whole team knew about his crush and used to tease him but he didn’t care. Every time the phone used to ring he would rush to grab it much to the amusements of his team members.
They had encouraged him to speak to her, introduce himself but every time he used to go in front of her he would become tongue-tied.
However one day he decided to take the plunge and talk to her but that day she left early.
Due to some tension in the city he left early too.
The next day he waited but she didn’t come. She didn’t come the day after that too. Then on the third day he got the mail. It was a general mail marked to all.
“We are very sorry to inform that our colleague Ms. Juhi Verma died in the 11th July train bomb blast. We hope her soul rest in peace.”

He looked across at her empty seat

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

happiness equals to......

Happiness equals to….

Read a poem today which said:
She is the source of light in pine and sadness
She carries lightening in her hand
Her dreams are clear as clear as shadows
In the flaming paradise’s sands

And are not all our dreams unclear. Do we know what we want? Of course the easiest thing to say would be happiness, but then again what is happiness? What will make us happy? Usually we end up equating money with happiness. The more money we have the more happy we will. However this hypothesis does not usually work. The other would be equating happiness with love. The more we are loved or surrounded by loved ones, more chances of us achieving that elusive happiness.
By definition happiness is a state of mind. A state that can be created and controlled by us. So I guess all we need to stay happy is the will to stay happy.