No more happy endings

It’s a sad day today as the divorce of one of my close friends gets finalized today. 3 years of marriage and 4 years of relationship has dissolved in to nothing. The worst is that all happy times and memories have been replaced by bitter fights and estrangement.
What led to the death of a relationship born out of love?
They were from different castes but belonged to families which put the happiness of their kids above everything else. They were both working and had stable incomes hence had no financial issues. Both as individuals were positive and well liked in their friends group. They had similar interests and in fact it was this similarity which had bought them closer.
So what happened? When you listen to them, you think even they are not too sure what caused the rift which finally became a chasm to wide to cross.
Small issues which became too much to live with day after day. He resented her closeness to her boss (even though the boss was happily married), her coming late, some of her friends and even the clothes she wore. Incidentally he was first attracted to her because he loved her dressing. She resented his constant jealousy and keeping tabs on her. His criticism about her dressing sense or choice of friends. The dreams that they had seen together also got divided. She wanted to have kids; he wanted to first buy a house.

None of these situations are new. Every married couple has some of these issues in their married lives. But soon these small skirmishes turned into big battles. And as it happens; in the heat of moment they said things that they later regretted, pulled their parents in to their fights, each and every small point/ incident was picked up dissected and used as a weapon against the other.
A time came when each became weary of the other. They avoided each other’s company, lived in the same house as strangers. Tired of living like this they decided to part ways and end what was supposed to be a partnership for life.

I was one of the bridesmaid in their wedding. A witness to their exchange of vows and commitment to each other. All of which came to naught.
I wondered what was better, parting ways and trying to find a chance of happiness again, or living together and trying to find that lost magic which had sparked the union to begin with.
All married couples have fights about various issues. Individuals grappling with daily lives fraught with stress and pressure, fighting the escalating costs and increasing standard of living have lesser and lesser patience with each other. It is killing a lot of relationships today. But is this sacred relationship not worth saving? Not worth fighting for? After all is that not the vow we take? – For better or for worse… till death do us apart.

Justice Denied

It’s a sad day for Indian judiciary system as one of the longest fought cases have a less than perfect ending.
Priyadarshini Mattoo lost her life more than 14 years ago for no fault of hers but because a spoiled brat took fancy to her. Since he belonged to an influential family many witnesses turned hostile and defense became week. It is no secret that integrity can be easily bought by a wad of notes. Hence the culprit was free to move around and maybe stalk other innocent girls while the long drawn fight for justice continued.
Thanks to the media attention, public support and help from activist the long awaited justice was finally achieved and a killer was given a death sentence for committing a heinous crime. But today Supreme Court has over ruled this hearing and changed it to life sentence. Some may argue that life imprisonment is equally bad but not for the corrupt and rich. Any one who can manage to change the court rulings can also mange an easy life in prison.
Close on the heels of this comes the acquittal of 6 men accused of raping a TISS student. The reasons given are ‘lack of medical evidence’ and ‘changes in the version of the victim.’
A victim who was drugged and obviously traumatized must after suffering, chronologically list down the events to ensure she can prove that she was indeed raped. The fact that she was taken against her will to a place by 6 men drunk and high on drugs is not enough.
I also do not agree with the people who say that sometimes women wrongly accuse men of sexual harassment to exact vendetta. No women would bring upon herself the shame and humiliation that usually follow a rape victim in our country. Is that not why so many rape cases go unreported? And even if we take this argument to be true what could possibly transpired a foreign student who had met these men just a few days ago (confirmed by both victim and accused)
Is it not bad enough that justice in our country is delayed? It sometimes takes 10 years in open and shut cases (Jessica Lall) for victim’s family to receive justice and some sort of closure. Nothing can bring back their loved ones but at east the knowledge that no other innocent will suffer by the hands of the accused culprit bring some satisfaction. But it is worse if the committed manage to get their sentences lessened or delayed by going to higher court.
The message it gives out is that you can go ahead and commit crimes. If you have money you will walk scot-free or the justice will be delayed and while the victim’s family suffer you will enjoy a normal life.
I wonder when will our justice system wake up.