House of Horrors

I have recently shifted my house and have found a dream home.
However till now I had to live in a house which could have easily been used by Ramsay brothers for their movies without spending a penny for special effects.
Some of the ‘interesting happenings’ of this house were:

The Window Effect – The (sliding) windows of this house had a mind of their own. Once closed they would not open and once opened they would refuse to close. This can be a particularly difficult situation in rainy season where one minute it’s pouring so you need to close the window and the next minute it’s sweltering so you need to have some breeze in. The positive thing is I developed biceps struggling to open and close the windows.

The Fanny Thing – To begin with the fans had no connection with the regulators installed, they would move only at one speed, no matter how much you increased/ decreased the speed.
In the middle of night one would get up due to weird noises like a cat was clawing through a metal plate. It would be the fan protesting about being made to work. It would finally shut off. This would continue to happen no matter how many times, the electrician would come and check. If you were lucky it might start again on its own but don’t bet on it.

A door – to – door service – The door of the house was actually made with a high amount of security in mind. It was so secure that it would not open even with its own key. Only when kicked, punched and pushed really hard would it open? Hence the high security, you cannot enter your own house without your neighbors getting to know about it.

The bathrooms were the best. No matter how much you would clean/ wash/ disinfect there were some organisms which would survive and get in to your soaps and body washes much to your discomfort. They could be a new scientific discovery. They could probably survive atom bombs also.

Any complaints made to the landlord on the state of the house fell on deaf ears. His standard replies to our woes were to shift out if we had any issues, knowing well that due to time constraint we will wait out the one year lease. However the last straw was when a huge chunk of ceiling simply fell of in the kitchen. Thankfully the kitchen was empty at that point of time.
The landlord’s reply to this was that the owners of the house above must be stamping their feet????
We knew there was no way we would spend another day in that house and went on a whirlwind house hunt. Luckily we found something right next door and are now happily settled in what I described as a house of dreams.
As for the house of horrors all the best to any one courageous enough to rent it again.